Last night I made the decision I wanted to be a better, more teaching parent. So today I'm sitting down with Zach trying to teach him how to write his name by following dot to dot that I had drawn. When I come to the realization that I have no patience. Zip. Zero. None.
Zach doesn't tend to watch what he is doing, making my job of trying to teach him thoroughly hard. Ever tried to teach someone who simply stares off into the distance? (trust me, its very frustrating).
As a 4 year old sometimes I feel that Zach should be more advanced than he is. I know he has echolalia (which I've explained about in an earlier post but incase you missed it here is a link explaining what echolalia is) but I think, should he be able to do other things like draw a picture? Zach will just draw lines or scribble, there's no real picture that he is trying to draw. He just sits there with the pencil and draws and says 'around and around and around' while drawing big squiggles.
He also has no fear of strangers and no common sense, he would walk straight out infront of a car and not think twice about it. He walks up to people (almost like an involuntary action) and says "Hi what you doing" even when they answer him, he still says "Hi, what you doing" or repeats what the person has just told him.
Like I said in my earlier post, we had Zach checked over by a private paed and he came back with a negative diagnosis of ASD (Austistic Spectrum Disorder) but now I'm not so sure. I walked out of the pead's appointment not really feeling satisfied and feeling like he didn't really answer any of my questions at all! I spoke to Josh about this and he told me to stop being so silly so I put it to the back of my mind.
I'm so tired of trusting 'professionals' because as a mother I know when something isn't right with my children. From now on I will always trust my gut instinct and my gut is telling me to get a second opinion. So that's what I'm currently in the process of doing.
I'm not writing this post to try and have a big whinge about how naughty my kids are.. I'm just trying to write out what's in my head so I can read it myself and get some perspective.
I'm just so tired of yelling, but honestly some days, that's all that will get through to Zach. I just want to know how to help him and how to help me also.
There are those days when you question your ability to be a mother and if you are even doing a good job at all. I'm currently having one of those days.
Maybe I just need a cup of tea and a lie down. Fingers crossed Maddy stays asleep for me long enough to recharge my battery for the afternoon.
I hope everyone out there is having a slightly better day than me. :)
I love this pair more than life itself
and I just want to feel like I'm
doing the best I can for them.